Bliss

sometimes i wish i can time travel and relive it again

^.~

Guilt

whenever he calls (he rarely calls me but can be considered frequent compared to last time I was away), i would feel a deep ache in my gut. Guilt. do I have any reason to feel this way?

DREAMS

when you find a dream in your heart. don't ever let it go. because dreams are seeds from which beautiful tomorrow grows

i-can't-think-of-a-title

whenever, he has exams, i feel like I'm having exams too.. that is just too many exams for me to handle. i miss the times when we could go out whenever and not be worried about not studying. being in 3rd year is quite tiring and thinking bout being a house officer can be terrifying sometimes.

kids..

right now, almost everyone is going back to kuching to enter the faculty's sports event. unfortunately im not one of them. cos i have my end of posting on monday. oh well. i rmmber last year's event. i entered futsal (i never play futsal before) and netball (err...not my kind of thing). surprisingly my team won futsal (because my other team players were good) pejam kelip mata it has already been four months in this town. I'm not expecting much for this posting. Im just praying that a miracle will happen this monday and tuesday. hopefully next posting which is Surgery will be better. Paediatrics is a stressful posting. just like kids, it is unpredictable. i was practically lost in this posting. but i got to meet patients and mothers and grandmothers that touched my heart. kids that have cerebral palsy, Down syndrome, and even premature babies require attention almost 24/7 . heck even perfectly healthy children do. it is a tough job being a guardian of a child. it may seem that the child is totally dependent on his/her caretaker. but in reality the caretaker would be somewhat disable without the child. i have to get back to studying now

blah

it's a week before my end of posting. and i'm cracking like an egg. i remember the feeling during my first EOP exam. waiting for your turn in the cramp waiting room is the worst feeling ever. feeling of impending doom. need to pray n pray.

Sleep

No matter how long I sleep, (and I have been sleeping pretty long) those panda eyes never seem to go away. You know those panda eyes that really can make you look tired even though you're not. the horror of eye bags. I think i got them sometime during last year. At first i thought it was because i was using a not so good moisturiser which doubles as a whitener. Although I have been off that brand,(because i heard it has awful long term bleaching effect) those eye bags are still there. I guess panda eyes are here to stay for another reason despite me having adequate or should I say excessive sleep. I don't normally sleep for like 10 hours straight. yeah kinda too long but that's because I'm having my holidays. But today I woke up unusually early to go for a morning walk. Despite having less sleep I don't feel sleepy or groggy as expected. Sleep is a funny thing to me. You lay your head on a soft pillow and fall asleep. before you know it, it's the next day. what happened to those long hours. Sometimes you rmmbr weird visions like seeing a toilet in a middle of a talk full of your lecturers and find yourself getting up to pee but unable to do so due to people peeking. Yeah that's one of the weirdest dream that I had several days ago. And sometimes you don't even rmmbr anything. those are the times were you truly rested. Sleep is time to escape from everything. you can't think, at least not consciously , nothing bothers you except dreams. Dreams which can't really bother you much because they aren't real. But sooner or later you have to wake up. I have to wake up to reality and face it. I'm not sure how but I know I will. you see I know because I have something called faith. that's another topic altogether which I'll save for another day cos it's already time for my 'escape' :)