us

‎"How small a porton of our life it is that we really enjoy. In youth we are looking forward to things that are to come; in old age, we are looking backwards to things that are gone past". My friend put this as her status last night and I do agree with it. Im doing both right now but I wouldn't say Im looking forward to the future, im worried bout it. I'm constantly worried bout our future. In fact Im worried whether 'we' will cease to exist together. if we do then all of it would be for nothing. Im not sure how we are together now but I guess it's better than nothing. I wanna tell you things but you tend to brush it off by saying things the way you understand. But I don't agree with you. I don't want things to go the way so -called fate will determine it. Don't I have a say in my life? I do believe that God has it all planned but I also believe that He takes our choices and opinions into account. Right now, Im just hoping my prayers will come true. I know you're doing this just so it'll be easier for me and maybe for you if we do have to part. But it won't work. It would hurt just like it ought to. Nothing can make it hurt less. Nothing you can say or do. this way, you're only making me hurt earlier than I ought to. I'm just asking you to make us last as long as possible and as pleasant as possible like in the past which I do miss. when you had hope. I don't know how to say all this shit to you, cos we'll probably end up fighting and re-runs of what I said and what you said. I doubt you would read this because the last time I checked you don't read my blog.